Stop being such a bitch. You don’t like your fucked up smile? Fix what you can. Stop being afraid. You’ll feel so much better. Get your swagger back. Stop hiding in your room. Stop letting the crazy run your life. Run your own shit. WORK HARDER. BE SMARTER. I want to be more than this. I can be more than this. I am going to be. Stop wasting hours/days/weeks/months. Life isn’t going to slow down for my fucked up little head so it’s time to fix it. Get a good girl. Seduce her. Find someone who loves you for you. Imperfect as I may be.
EMBODY YOUR ROLE MODELS. You want to be the next Phil Ivey or Jay-Z? Get out there and work. It takes a fuck ton of work to be a legend. They didn’t sit on their asses waiting. They forced it. Imma do the same. I’m going to write my book. I’m gonna get the girl of my dreams. I’m going to make some real money. I want success.
And if I don’t right away, I’ll just try harder. I’m done sitting on my ass feeling sorry myself. It’s pointless and pathetic. I will not slip any further down that slope. It ends now. By spring I want to be able to smile again and walk into a room with real confidence, not the bullshit I fake. And jesus christ get laid already kid.
READ THIS ENTRY WHEN YOU FEEL HOPELESS, DUMB, AND ANGRY. Remember this feeling. Reconnect with your family. They do care. And if they don’t, they still deserve your attention. Never forget your friends. Be more open. TALK OR WRITE ABOUT WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEAD. It’s not normal and it’s not healthy to keep it all hidden.
Please, stop being the same kid you’ve been for damn near 5 fucking years now.
